Friday, February 03, 2006
Go... Steelers? Talk About Brainfreeze
I feel so dirty. And not the kind of dirty that 20 minutes in the shower will clean.
No, this kind of cleansing might call for a visit to the confessional. A good, old fashioned scrubbing of the soul. What I'm about to say might cause my mom to reach for the bar of soap; or even worse, Sister Noreen for her trusty "Board of Education."
Hold my hand, please. And promise not to yell at me when I tell you...
...I'm thinking about rooting for the Steelers. The Steelers? Yeah, that's right. The Steelers.
Whoa, easy there, I asked you not to shout. C'mon, hear me out, Cleveland.
You must know that this goes against everything I hold to be true. When it comes to fun, rooting for the Steelers is right up there with a root canal. I mean, this is the Browns chief rival we are talking about here. I never jumped on the Yankees World Series bandwagon. Seriously, I swear I never did.
But my inner Browns fan is practically pushing me to wear a Hines Ward jersey on Sunday. How could I? Don't those black-and-gold threads itch? Do they even wash those things? Oh, the thought is... making me.....feel.....sick.....is it warm in here? Water, please.
OK, this is something I have to do. Put your hatred of the Steelers aside for a moment, and look at this objectively with me. Take Bill Cowher. He played for the Browns. He coached for the Browns. When Art Modell was looking for Marty Schottenheimer's replacement, Cowher was on the list. The guy is a class act, who seems to get the most out of players--not to the extent of Bill Belichick, but good enough to get to the Super Bowl.
Not convinced? How about this: we owe them one. Yeah, you read me right. We owe them one. Remember that whole move to Baltimore thing? Remember which team's owner was one of just two to vote against it? That was the Pittsburgh Steelers, if you are scoring at home. That was Cleveland's arch-rival, offering a hand after the Browns had been sacked for a loss. That was the team, and the town, we cuss and fuss about who had the Browns' back while the rest of the league turned theirs.
You can hate the Steelers all you want when they punch you on Sundays. But just don't hate them for being good. Nobody likes a jealous Browns fan.
Pittsburgh is in the Super Bowl. It's time to give them a hand. They have earned it.
XL Extras: Detroit Rock City
While I'm on the subject of hate, what is with the need to cut Detroit down at the knees? So the Super Bowl is being played in a cold weather town. Here's a tip: go inside and gamble. Casinos are one thing Detroit can offer that Cleveland cannot. A roof on Ford Field is another. It is hard not to wonder what might have been if plans for a covered Cleveland Browns Stadium were approved years ago.
Michael from Cleveland agrees...
It's already been said but needed repeating. Unbelievable, Cleveland couldn't fashion a
scheme of its own. Hats off to Detroit. Embrace it, stand proud, for not since the Motor City
Cobra himself punched Detroit onto the national compass, has the city been recognized in
such a positive light.
XL Extras: Prediction Time
While I just spent the above paragraphs explaining, if not apologizing, for my newfound Steeler Pride, I don't think it will be enough. Jerome Bettis will find the end zone. Troy Polamalu will find someone to hit. Hard. But the Seahawks are no joke. As long as quarterback Matt Hasselbeck is kept away from the overtime coin toss (remember, "We want the ball, and we're going to score?"). I like Seattle, by a touchdown. But then, I will be wearing a Steelers jersey. And you know what kind of effect that can have on the brain.
Cleveland, are you with me? E-mail your Super Bowl predictions, for recreational purposes, of course. chandler@newsnet5.com
No, this kind of cleansing might call for a visit to the confessional. A good, old fashioned scrubbing of the soul. What I'm about to say might cause my mom to reach for the bar of soap; or even worse, Sister Noreen for her trusty "Board of Education."
Hold my hand, please. And promise not to yell at me when I tell you...
...I'm thinking about rooting for the Steelers. The Steelers? Yeah, that's right. The Steelers.
Whoa, easy there, I asked you not to shout. C'mon, hear me out, Cleveland.You must know that this goes against everything I hold to be true. When it comes to fun, rooting for the Steelers is right up there with a root canal. I mean, this is the Browns chief rival we are talking about here. I never jumped on the Yankees World Series bandwagon. Seriously, I swear I never did.
But my inner Browns fan is practically pushing me to wear a Hines Ward jersey on Sunday. How could I? Don't those black-and-gold threads itch? Do they even wash those things? Oh, the thought is... making me.....feel.....sick.....is it warm in here? Water, please.
OK, this is something I have to do. Put your hatred of the Steelers aside for a moment, and look at this objectively with me. Take Bill Cowher. He played for the Browns. He coached for the Browns. When Art Modell was looking for Marty Schottenheimer's replacement, Cowher was on the list. The guy is a class act, who seems to get the most out of players--not to the extent of Bill Belichick, but good enough to get to the Super Bowl.Not convinced? How about this: we owe them one. Yeah, you read me right. We owe them one. Remember that whole move to Baltimore thing? Remember which team's owner was one of just two to vote against it? That was the Pittsburgh Steelers, if you are scoring at home. That was Cleveland's arch-rival, offering a hand after the Browns had been sacked for a loss. That was the team, and the town, we cuss and fuss about who had the Browns' back while the rest of the league turned theirs.
You can hate the Steelers all you want when they punch you on Sundays. But just don't hate them for being good. Nobody likes a jealous Browns fan.
Pittsburgh is in the Super Bowl. It's time to give them a hand. They have earned it.
XL Extras: Detroit Rock City
While I'm on the subject of hate, what is with the need to cut Detroit down at the knees? So the Super Bowl is being played in a cold weather town. Here's a tip: go inside and gamble. Casinos are one thing Detroit can offer that Cleveland cannot. A roof on Ford Field is another. It is hard not to wonder what might have been if plans for a covered Cleveland Browns Stadium were approved years ago.
Michael from Cleveland agrees...
It's already been said but needed repeating. Unbelievable, Cleveland couldn't fashion a
scheme of its own. Hats off to Detroit. Embrace it, stand proud, for not since the Motor City
Cobra himself punched Detroit onto the national compass, has the city been recognized in
such a positive light.
XL Extras: Prediction Time
While I just spent the above paragraphs explaining, if not apologizing, for my newfound Steeler Pride, I don't think it will be enough. Jerome Bettis will find the end zone. Troy Polamalu will find someone to hit. Hard. But the Seahawks are no joke. As long as quarterback Matt Hasselbeck is kept away from the overtime coin toss (remember, "We want the ball, and we're going to score?"). I like Seattle, by a touchdown. But then, I will be wearing a Steelers jersey. And you know what kind of effect that can have on the brain.
Cleveland, are you with me? E-mail your Super Bowl predictions, for recreational purposes, of course. chandler@newsnet5.com
Posted at 2:15 PM
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